An English Gentleman Tweed Moustache Pattern

I say...there's a handsome fellow! Donning this 'stache is guaranteed to improve the posture of dapper lads and lasses alike. It takes its inspiration from Mustache Costume Hat by mom with a hook and Knitted Moustache by Holly2, both at instructables.com. I would say this facial enhancement is unsuitable for unsupervised play for children under three years old. However, these whiskers also make a great sling shot for older kids (and cats) to chase!

Materials; Small amounts of worsted/aran weight yarn (I used Vanna's Choice acrylic in mustard/rust and linen/taupe for the moustaches pictured); size J crochet hook (size I for Little Kid), 1 pair Goody Ouchless Hair elastics in Java Bean Colors (item #15218/pkg of 50 bands in beige, brown, white, charcoal and black). You can use ordinary (but sturdy) rubber bands in a pinch, or work lengths of chain stitches at the ends of a finished moustache to create a tie-on version. For comfort and safety, avoid using hair bands that are joined by metal crimps.

With use of elastic loops, gauge is fairly flexible. You can also fudge the count and height of stitches to change the shape.

Note: Two colors of yarn are held double to work the entire piece (see exception for Little Kid size below).

Large/Adult (11" ear to ear): Make a sl knot. Draw loop through elastic band and insert size J hook. Holding tail for stability, ch 1 catching band and then ch and additional 29 sts. Stitches should be firm, but not tight. Place second elastic band on hook and work another ch over it (31 ch).

Sc in 2nd ch from hook (the first one after the elastic band), 5 sc, 2 hdc, 2 dc, 3 tr in next st, 1 dc, 2 hdc, 1 sc, sl st in next st, 1 sc, 2 hdc, 1 dc, 3 tr in next st, 2 dc, 2 hdc, 5 sc, ending with sl st to catch elastic hoop.

Now, working along opposite side of foundation chain, sc in ea st until you get to the tr stitches, 3 hdc opposite tr sts, sc in ea st until next tr sts, 3 hdc in next st, sc to end finishing with sl st to catch elastic loop. Break off. Weave in ends on right side of work ("wrong side" is the face of the moustache).

Teen/Small Adult (9" ear to ear): Make a sl knot. Draw loop through elastic band and insert size J hook. Holding tail for stability, ch 1 catching band and then ch and additional 27 sts. Stitches should be firm, but not tight. Place second elastic band on hook and work another ch over it (29 ch).

Sc in 2nd ch from hook (the first one after the elastic band), 4 sc, 2 hdc, 2 dc, 3 tr in next st, 1 dc, 2 hdc, 1 sc, sl st in next st, 1 sc, 2 hdc, 1 dc, 3 tr in next st, 2 dc, 2 hdc, 4 sc, ending with sl st to catch elastic hoop.

Now, working along opposite side of foundation chain, sc in ea st until you get to the tr stitches, 3 hdc opposite tr sts, sc in ea st until next tr sts, 3 hdc in next st, sc to end finishing with sl st to catch elastic loop. Break off. Weave in ends on right side of work ("wrong side" is the face of the moustache).

Big Kid (7" ear to ear): Make a sl knot. Draw loop through elastic band and insert size J hook. Holding tail for stability, ch 1 catching band and then ch and additional 25 sts. Stitches should be firm, but not tight. Place second elastic band on hook and work another ch over it (27 ch).

Sc in 2nd ch from hook (the first one after the elastic band), 3 sc, 2 hdc, 2 dc, 3 tr in next st, 1 dc, 2 hdc, 1 sc, sl st in next st, 1 sc, 2 hdc, 1 dc, 3 tr in next st, 2 dc, 2 hdc, 3 sc, ending with sl st to catch elastic hoop.

Now, working along opposite side of foundation chain, sc in ea st until you get to the tr stitches, 3 hdc opposite tr sts, sc in ea st until next tr sts, 3 hdc in next st, sc to end finishing with sl st to catch elastic loop. Break off. Weave in ends on right side of work ("wrong side" is the face of the moustache).

Little Kid (5" ear to ear):Work same as for Big Kid with size I hook and single strand of print or variegated worsted weigh or two strands of DK weight yarn. Also double-loop each hair band when attaching the foundation chain stitches so they will slip over tiny ears without falling off!

Please let me know if you have questions or find problems below or send me a message via ravelry. Cheers!

P.S. Wikipedia describes the subtle difference between spelling and pronunciation of British moustaches and American mustaches here.

Color Study

An English Gentleman

I worked up a batch of clever tweed mustaches for the girls to choose from to wear during their first week of classes! Being a teenager is difficult (as I can barely recall), rife with conflicting urges. On one hand, you strive to assert your identity among peers and authority figures while simultaneously dodging any attention being tossed in your direction. I figured sporting this little bit of fuzz on your lip could be helpful in such times, lending an air of distinction at the same time it offers a kind of camouflage. Another way to look at it is this: if you are indeed going to be drawing attention to your awkward, geeky, teen-aged self, you might as well have fun with it. Laugh unto yourself before others have a chance to laugh unto you...or something like that.

I'll be talking about all of my own disguise and preemptive laughter business with my therapist later this week...and I'll be making the crochet pattern for "An English Gentleman" available in a future blog and on ravelry in plenty of time for Halloween!

Bird Fair

My sister dreams of cages filled with parrotlets and fancy finches. I, too, am fascinated by the colors and calls of these caged birds. But I am partial to the scalloped flight path taken by a goldfinch as it crosses an open meadow and the distant calls of shy cranes beyond the pond.

As a girl, I looked forward to the song of feisty wrens as they squared off territory in our yard. The wild cherry tree seemed to be the prime spot, but there were bird baths, high-hanging houses and spruce branches enough for many, many birds, and my summer days were perennially marked by a cadence of bird song...noisy morning choruses, high-pitched protests from featherless, hungry chicks, and the twilight lullaby that settled with the roosting birds on the wooded hill behind our house.

I was fascinated by the grackle that would strut among the quack grass that was dotted with thistles in our sun-parched front yard. At a glance, the big birds appeared dull and black, but in the afternoon light, their feathers were magical...a dark, mysteriously shifting spectrum.

Along with not being able to see stars at night, songbirds are one of the things I miss most now that I live in a big city. Oh, I'm cordial enough with pigeons I meet and I've developed a tolerance (at best) for the lakeside gulls. Luckily, like the neighborhood park's geese, I am able to migrate north.